It’s also my dad’s birthday (little shout out – you should buy him a present) but I’m scared that I will be singing Happy Birthday in between sporadic sobs while clutching my tear-stained results in one hand. Admittedly, that’s probably the worst case scenario.
I don’t understand how to cope though. Roughly two months in between your last exam and the day when you get to find out if you’ve screwed up your life. I can’t handle that kind of pressure.
By this, I don’t mean that I’m hoping to be go into something stupid, a profession that guarantees disrespect and ridicule. I don’t know, something silly like being a semi-professional uni-cyclist or a politician or something.
I mean that I want to be a writer which means that I am destined to be poor.
We all have different personas based on who we’re with. The occasional time when you’re out with one friend and then see another and your behaviour visibly changes; then suddenly the existential questions come flooding in:
Why am I acting differently now? In what way did I just change? What am I really like? Who is the real me? WHO AM I????
It’s hard to focus on small talk when internally you’re having an identity crisis.