My mind is telling me no… but my body, my body is telling me yes: musings on a moral inclination towards veganism, but a severe lacking in dedication. Basically, I suck.
A while ago, I watched a documentary about SeaWorld and the whales that are mercilessly enslaved by the company (I don’t like SeaWorld) called Blackfish – watch it: it’s incredible. Since then, I’ve seen it around seven times and I now often become teary-eyed at the sight of anything to do with SeaWorld: YOU MONSTERS DESTROYED TILIKUM’S LIFE, or just even seeing footage of orcas swimming together in their pods: THIS IS THE KIND OF COMPANIONSHIP TILIKUM COULD ONLY DREAM OF, YOU HEARTLESS SEAWORLD SCUM. As I say, I’m not a fan of SeaWorld.
Before then, I’d always respected animals but never really empathised with them in any way: I’ve never had any companion-y pets and I’ve always eaten meat so I was always rather meh on the topic of animals.
Then came killer whales.
Realising the genuine tragedy that is the life-long imprisonment of such intelligent and emotionally complex animals as killer whales lead to an epiphany. I actually started to care about killer whales and really care: I cried more over the death of Tilikum than over the death of Alan Rickman (yes I was pretty drunk at the time but the emotion was real.)
And now I hate SeaWorld and all other marine life circuses – I would never visit one again in my life (Yes, I have been to SeaWorld. No, we didn’t know how bad it was. No, I don’t know why we didn’t realise that it’s a glorified circus considering there are actual shows on all the time. Yes, I know that’s ridiculous. Yes, the memories of my visit there fill me with shame) and I’ve started to become increasingly aware of the treatment of animals, not only regarding meat farming but dairy too, as well as their surprising levels of intelligence and emotional capabilities.
Despite this Blackfish and PETA-aided epiphany, I still eat meat and, despite my good will, I’m really struggling to go without it even for just a couple of days. Everyone knows eating meat is ethically dubious. Coz. You know. Death. But dairy’s alright? Isn’t it? Please tell me that it is. Well… it’s not.
Ignorance really is bliss. I relish the days when I could just eat an egg peacefully without the knowledge of all the male chicks being brutally gassed to death or the thought of thousands of them getting chucked into barrels at a time, simultaneously drowning in the dirty water and being crushed to death by the hundreds more newborn chicks being rammed in on top of them all the while screeching their little baby chick screams out of pure terror over and over and over again.
I mean. I still eat them. But lately the aftertaste of guilt from a dippy egg is lingering.
It’s simple right? Just stop eating meat and dairy. There are millions of vegans out there who do this; some have done it their whole lives and are saving the environment and their souls in the process.
An issue though: unlike myself, these people possess willpower. They can also, unlike me, can probably tolerate fruit and salad. I often take time to think about what food I like that I could still eat, if I was a vegan. Pizza? No. Poached eggs? No. Chocolate? No. I wouldn’t even be able to eat the staple of my diet: bread, because, as we all know from the story, it’s the Little Red Hen that makes the bread.
Still, as Dumbledore says, we must face the choice between what is right and what is easy. I often think of this when watching sad documentaries about chicken farming… whilst elbow deep in a 16 piece bucket from KFC.
Regretfully, as of now, I tend to choose the latter, the easy path painted red with the blood of innocent animals. And I’m sorry, I would love to be a vegan: I will update you if and when my intentions translate into actions.