Mainly because it means I don’t have to write anything new, and partly because I think it will entertain you, here is (probably) the best thing I’ve ever written – I showed it to my teacher and got a star sticker put on it, if you need proof of the standard.
I used to be very scared of slugs so wrote this pretty speciesist poem when I was 9 or 10 just for fun calling for an international slug cull. Because what child doesn’t have genocide on their mind?
Anyway, here’s my poem about slugs which I rather imaginatively titled: Slugs.
They’re beastly bugs.
Run Away! Run Away!
They’ll ruin your day! They’ll ruin your day!
They’re everywhere! They’re everywhere!
They’re on the roof! They’re on that chair!
They want to take over the world!
They’re black! They’re grey!
They’re straight! They’re curled!
Don’t run! Don’t hide!
Don’t stay inside!
Get out and fight
Throughout the night!
Go beat those slugs,
Those beastly bugs.
A jar of salt is all you need
To melt them – do it now, I plead!
A poem by Abigail Edwards