Take a shot every time I use an exclamation mark!

Mainly because it means I don’t have to write anything new, and partly because I think it will entertain you, here is (probably) the best thing I’ve ever written – I showed it to my teacher and got a star sticker put on it, if you need proof of the standard.

I used to be very scared of slugs so wrote this pretty speciesist poem when I was 9 or 10 just for fun calling for an international slug cull. Because what child doesn’t have genocide on their mind?

Anyway, here’s my poem about slugs which I rather imaginatively titled: Slugs.

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D-Day: 17th August 2017

A Level Results day.

It’s also my dad’s birthday (little shout out – you should buy him a present) but I’m scared that I will be singing Happy Birthday in between sporadic sobs while clutching my tear-stained results in one hand. Admittedly, that’s probably the worst case scenario.

I don’t understand how to cope though. Roughly two months in between your last exam and the day when you get to find out if you’ve screwed up your life. I can’t handle that kind of pressure.

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